Those of you who have met me over the years know I struggle with the ego, from the point of view that I do not believe that any human being now can be 100% truly ego free. No matter how enlightened they claim to be or appear to the eye. I sure we have a perception in our heads of what an egoless person may look like, looks as they say can be very deceiving. It is my view that the saint can have as much ego as the sinner, the poor as much as the rich, the humble as much as the boastful. Many may find my ideas far from palatable and that is understandable. Many would reject the notion that priests, care workers, even ‘enlightened’ monks could even have egos on the same level as say someone who drives an expensive car and lives in a mansion. I have to say it all depends on the level of focus these people have on their life (are they focused and captivated with form ‘the stuff of life’). A millionaire may have a lot of ‘stuff’ but if they are not focused on it then they could indeed have a relatively small Ego. Then again someone who looks after people in a humble way but are always focusing in their head on a level of thought ‘look what I have done, look what sacrifices I have made’ may be actually be totally driven by their ego.
It has been often said that the poor think about money more than anyone else. I can identify with this remark for while I have never been poor, I have never been able to just get things when I wanted them and I would sit and stew on my lack of stuff for days and months at a time and we all know what that does. To live without ego is to place yourself in the river of life, to go with the flow no matter where that flow goes. For no matter where it goes, it will never be away from anything. From a universal point of view we are always home, always connected, we are always safe and abundant maybe not in material way but at a level of spirit or soul life essence (whatever you would like or not like to call it ). To be truly egoless is very, very hard probably impossible.
How often do you say or hear people say ‘I wish I wasn’t so stressed’, I guess what you / they should be saying is – ‘I wish I wasn’t so egoed’ The level of stress in your life can be measured by a direct link to ego and an attachment to the stuff of life. Like most things I write or create they are as much pointers for me as anyone else. I sadly find myself at times clinging to some metaphorical branch fighting the flow of life. I sit in worry and fear, I judge and label, feel lost and broken. While these feelings and thoughts can take me over and I can find myself trapped in the drama. I am ultimately aware that it’s just a illusion created by the mind. I can make the choice to get lost in this Kingdom of the Ego or I can just mentally walk away from it. I have an ego but I’m not my ego, that is the first step in the return to a level of stillness or control over the Ego. Why we can never be truly Ego free i believe it is possible to keep ones ego in check. I’m also aware that sometimes it’s fun just to let it run free and watch all the crazy things it says and does.
Original posted – September 9, 2008