The corporate tech TV advert seems to currently consist of a nice little whistleable tune, slightly childish in style which is coupled with images of beautiful people living happy everyday lives. Harmless enough right? Come on, you know it’s not, it’s a brain washing attempt to make you think that Apple, Google, Amazon, Facebook, Microsoft are part of your family. These multibillion dollar corporations are your friendly old grandparents or your best friends that are always there for you in a fix.
Just send the Google team a invite to your next birthday party they will be there with loads of balloons, smiling faces and that tasty pizza that you can never really find anymore… ok they won’t or as we say in England… ‘will they? bollocks!’ While the people that run such corporations are fundamentally like us only richer, it is very doubtful that they know your name like you know theirs.
It’s equally doubtful that first thing in the morning they hop out of bed to check your Facebook status. We know what our Tech heroes look like and alot more but they wouldn’t even know who you were if you rolled up to them on a Segway with your name in four foot high letters. In fact you would probably be whisked away by security for your trouble and locked away as one of those crazies off twitter.
Much as I admire Sir Jonathan Ive and think he looks like a ‘hell of a guy’ that I could share a Cupertino mineral water with and talk for hours on ‘attention to detail’ and fit and finish, I know that Jony is not my friend and unless we have a polar shift in financial wealth and status he never will be. And why I may make my wife laugh when I put on my grey t-shirt and do a so so attempt at impersonation of The Apple overlord of design, Jony as never once said to his family ‘I wonder what A is up to right now or what do you think that Voss guy is really like.’?
When My Mac book pro goes a little loco it never enters my head to just call up jony and get his advice on sorting it out. Sure, Apple service is the best I’ve got from any company to date, but it’s not the same as Jony and me down the garden shed flipping the lid off my retina getting to the bottom of the problem while drinking tea and listening to the Archers.
So, this all being the case why do so many people especially in Tech have such deep loyalty to the faceless giants that take their money and never call? Say something negative about Apple or Google and suddenly you will have an army ready to die defending their perceived corporate kin. Sometimes the pissing matches on the internet between Nerds looks more like a street brawl between rival gangs that have discovered that Marco has impregnated Nadia daughter of the leader of a rival Maffia.
I don’t care if you have an Apple logo tattooed to you left leg or your John Thomas come to that. If you wish to travel 3,000 miles every year to attend Google iO that’s Ok. I guess it’s not a big problem if your bedroom is a temple to Gates and you have an unopened version of every micrsoft operating system vacuum sealed in 3 inch display cabinets. You can be as obsessed or is the word fanatical as you like Just please, please PLEASE! don’t tell me you really believe that Gates, Cook , Page or any of the Tech elite care about you. Even if they are the nicest people on the earth (improbable) there are just to many of us for them to even know 99.9% of us by face let alone name.
OH FOR PETE SAKES GET TO THE POINT MAN…
The point of my latest waffle is most tech people scoff at the clandestine way religion functions. They mock the way people that follow this or that religion don’t open their minds to new possibilities, but many of them would never be seen dead holding or buying a product from the evil ………… fill in the blanks as you see fit. Many of those that slag of Android phones have never used one, those that only ever use Windows are clueless about all those Cat (apple naming) based operating systems. All Prejudices are often irrationally formed but why we like one brand over another often defies logic. Take me I used windows from 93 to 2008 simply because I was sick of people telling me in the graphic world I really must use a Mac.
I did finally buy an iMac and since then I have brought Apple products because most of the time they do ‘just work’ but if tomorrow I had to fully return to Window system it wouldn’t worry me a bit and yes I’d miss a few things just like when I moved from Windows to Mac. All corporate logic says I should buy an iPhone and maybe I will one day but I feel much more drawn to a Windows or Android phone simple because I don’t know much about them.
I enjoy trying different things I was a Sky (large UK media company) customer for years but one day I awoke and said why am I paying out all this money for Satellite TV that I watch about 5 hours a week? I now have freesat and freeview and pay £12 for Netflix and Love-film, I occasionally rent a new film via blinkbox or the Apple store and save myself a great deal of money every month. I paid out thousands of pounds to Sky over the years and when I asked to cancel my contract, did they make any real attempt to keep my custom? no they never said but Aric you and us go way back, what can we do to change your mind.
I paid out a zillion pounds for my Mac book pro retina, do I feel a warm hug ever day from Apple for doing so? nope, in fact Apple are like the old victorian father that you see once in a blue moon that steps outside the study shouts ‘Eureka!’ pats you on the head and then disappears until Christmas dinner 6 months later.
I don’t feel any of the companies I buy from give a toss about me and the best I can hope for is they actually give a toss about their products and that isn’t always a given.
So in my crazy world I have an iMac that due to a terrible boot camp disaster now thinks he’s a windows 8 machine. Day to day I use a Mac pro but never use Apple software as I dislike it, I write my blogs in Evernote or drive. I surf the net using Chrome. I use 4 year old Nokia phone. Watch streamed TV on an Apple TV linked via an Onkyo to a Panasonic plasma. I take photos on a canon SLR. I may this year buy a Nexus or a Windows phone but more than likely I won’t be able to justify the cost and force the Nokia to hang on a bit longer.
I have no brand loyalty because they have no loyalty to me. I buy products based on what they can do for me day to day not because of a logo that may or may not give me some street cred or because they were on the top of some tech journalist must have list. I think Apple products are generally fine if not a little dull but I do get a little tummy smile when I see they have fallen out of vogue. If Apple crashes and burn (which I doubt they will) I won’t be found locked in a fume filled garage. Most of the big wigs at Apple will have made more money than my entire family line from the moment they swung down from the trees.
So Trash the Idea you’re a PC or a Mac, a Google or Linux your none of those… You are a free thinking person not a hook to hang a logo on or a mindless clone or worst a tech loving bitch doing tricks for it’s corporate pimp.
I guess when it come to brand loyalty and the Idea that corporations cares I have to use a quote from the master of pull no punches wisdoms George Carlin – “It’s Bullshit, Folks. It’s all bullshit, and It’s bad For Ya’-